The idea that perfection is overrated is a far from new one. But like many cliched ideas, the fact that it is a cliche doesn't make it less true, less worthy of repeated or less of a revelation when you really need it to be.
If you've been reading along with my past posts, you will know I'm getting married. A little less than six months away from my wedding date, I'm realizing that Perfect does not have to be "perfect."
For evidence of this, why not begin at the beginning? My fiance is not a perfect person. He is not the epitome of male beauty. He has habits and attitudes that sometimes get on my nerves. In a word, he is human. But he always seems to know what to say, always notices when I'm troubled, and after two and a half years wiggles like a happy puppy at the sheer thought that we get to be together always. He is not a perfect person, but he is perfect for me. The Prince Charming "perfection" shown to us in movies and books may be a myth taken at face value, but the underlying implication is real. There may not be a single, universal Prince Charming in the world, but there is a Prince Charming for each of us, if we can just find the one that's ours.
If you've been reading along with my past posts, you will know I'm getting married. A little less than six months away from my wedding date, I'm realizing that Perfect does not have to be "perfect."
For evidence of this, why not begin at the beginning? My fiance is not a perfect person. He is not the epitome of male beauty. He has habits and attitudes that sometimes get on my nerves. In a word, he is human. But he always seems to know what to say, always notices when I'm troubled, and after two and a half years wiggles like a happy puppy at the sheer thought that we get to be together always. He is not a perfect person, but he is perfect for me. The Prince Charming "perfection" shown to us in movies and books may be a myth taken at face value, but the underlying implication is real. There may not be a single, universal Prince Charming in the world, but there is a Prince Charming for each of us, if we can just find the one that's ours.
In an earlier post I described the dress I had found - a beautiful vintage gown with remarkable lace and only a few alterations needed to bring it to the ideal image I had for it in my head. Well, those alterations were completed and that ideal image is not what I ended up with. What I got was precisely what I'd asked for, executed with all the superb skill of the woman who did it; in short, a cute, pretty dress. But I do not want to be merely "cute" or "pretty" on my wedding day. I want to make my husband-to-be catch his breath when he sees me. I want to be stunning. But I was so wrapped up in the ideal I had planned (vintage, tea length, sweetheart, truly and utterly original) that I let my critical eye haze over a combination of neckline and seaming that I've found to be slightly unflattering (if only in my own eyes) in another dress I own, without really considering how I would feel about the panels of lace on the skirt when they were shortened.
I'm sorry for what I did to the dress. It is still a lovely piece of re-designed vintage but it deserved so much more respect than I gave it, consumed by my idea of making it "perfect."
I'm sorry for what I did to the dress. It is still a lovely piece of re-designed vintage but it deserved so much more respect than I gave it, consumed by my idea of making it "perfect."
I intend to resell it at a bridal consignment shop I know; I am sure it will make some bride very happy some day. For myself, I made my peace with the money I had spent on it (thankfully my own and not a lot by average bridal gown prices today) and went out hunting for a new perfection. This time my only requirements for style and appearance were that it looked good on my body and made me feel like a million bucks... and that the cost was less than the pre-alteration price of the first dress. It only took two days of looking once I really settled down to it in that spirit. Now I have a dress that is entirely different than the ideal I started with, but it was affordable, suits my figure, and no matter how anxious or bloated or harried I feel on my wedding day it is a dress I can be sure looks good on me. Interestingly enough, my strapless A-line gown is more like the "ideal" wedding dress I dreamt of in high school than the vintage ideal I formed when thinking about my actual wedding. They always say your first instinct is usually the right one.
I've struggled with perfection in my DIY projects too. The ring pillow and flower girl basket weren't much concern, I think because the inspiration for them came on the spur of the moment and making them up as I went I wasn't tied down by a fancy ideal. My candle holders I made with a friend who overlapped seams of ribbon where I made an effort to make them appear seamless - but they are still beautiful, all of them, even if I have to remind myself of that fact and that the overlapping probably won't even be noticed by the casual eye.
My favors now, those are where (I think) "perfection is overrated" really sank in for the first time. They're packets for flower seeds. Though I haven't gotten seed yet, I made the paper packets and decorated them with simple ink stamps and stencils. A flower stenciled in the center, I&M stamped at the bottom, and SEEDS stamped at the top. I&M was easy to stamp, if not always straight, at least in an even line - three different stamps you can hold together as you use them so they line up neatly. But I couldn't do the same thing with SEEDS; two letters repeating themselves if too many for the method I used to make I&M straight. And I spent some time trying to puzzle out a sneaky way to get them in a straight line, evenly spaced, maybe something with a ruler... And I probably could have come up with something if I had really tried but it would surely have been cumbersome and time consuming. At last I thought "Well, why does it have to be "perfect" anyway? Asymmetry can be artistic. These are home made. They don't have to be "perfect."" And so I stamped away one letter at a time, making only the most basic effort at evenness and sometimes not even bothering to do that. And you know what? My seed packets are adorable. And perfect.
I've struggled with perfection in my DIY projects too. The ring pillow and flower girl basket weren't much concern, I think because the inspiration for them came on the spur of the moment and making them up as I went I wasn't tied down by a fancy ideal. My candle holders I made with a friend who overlapped seams of ribbon where I made an effort to make them appear seamless - but they are still beautiful, all of them, even if I have to remind myself of that fact and that the overlapping probably won't even be noticed by the casual eye.
My favors now, those are where (I think) "perfection is overrated" really sank in for the first time. They're packets for flower seeds. Though I haven't gotten seed yet, I made the paper packets and decorated them with simple ink stamps and stencils. A flower stenciled in the center, I&M stamped at the bottom, and SEEDS stamped at the top. I&M was easy to stamp, if not always straight, at least in an even line - three different stamps you can hold together as you use them so they line up neatly. But I couldn't do the same thing with SEEDS; two letters repeating themselves if too many for the method I used to make I&M straight. And I spent some time trying to puzzle out a sneaky way to get them in a straight line, evenly spaced, maybe something with a ruler... And I probably could have come up with something if I had really tried but it would surely have been cumbersome and time consuming. At last I thought "Well, why does it have to be "perfect" anyway? Asymmetry can be artistic. These are home made. They don't have to be "perfect."" And so I stamped away one letter at a time, making only the most basic effort at evenness and sometimes not even bothering to do that. And you know what? My seed packets are adorable. And perfect.